Dating a Hoover

Elaine and I discussing her date with a guy she met in a bar.

Elaine: I have dinner w [NAME]. I think I'm going to have to stop that. But I agreed to have dinner w him and he remembers the plan so I'll go. I find him interesting, but his kissing definitely not.

Me: Shame.

Elaine: Yeah, well, I am not really phys attracted to him.

Me: That's the thing, though, isn't it? Finding one that has everything.

Elaine: Yeah, I need to throw the fish back. I like his brain, though. Ha ha!

Me: It makes me so sad. You're having the problem I usually have, though--no chemistry. You're not one to have problems with that usually. Well, I'm sorry he's not working out, but please remember this in future for when I tell you I don't have chemistry with someone.

Elaine: well, I gen. don't agree to go on dates w ppl I don't find all that attractive, but I was so intrigued by him. I didn't think it was a date. But I was wrong.

Me: Didn't think it was a date? Was that an awkward discovery? It always has been for me.

Elaine: Well, not super awk but awk enough. But it was prob my fault since I got v cold and used him for warmth. Ha ha. And then it broke space boundary, but he was sort of touchy feely anyway.

Me: Wow, uh, you knew you weren't attracted to him but used him for warmth? Wow.

Elaine: God, I sound like you. Haha.

Me: No, I only take warmth from people I know.

 
After her second date—where she went knowing that it was a date.

Elaine: I realized why he's such a bad kisser. Thinks that boring his skull into someone's is "passionate," and that suction is involved in kissing. And I tried to guide it and it was only slightly better, but he's beyond help. But he's nice. Damn.

And we didn't go to dinner! Grr. Made mistake of saying that I wasn't starving when he asked if I was hungry and he said he wasn't that hungry.

Me: You fell for the "Let's meet at my place" thing?

Elaine: Yeah, I was let in by the doorman, and went to meet him at his door, and he was going to meet me in lobby. Damn, Damn.

Me: I told you about [NAME] pulling that. It's a trap for men who are really bad at some aspect of dating. So you just went along with the kissing then? Yuck! I’m sorry things didn’t improve. Are you going to tell him…something?

Elaine: I told him that I wanted friends.

Me: And he was ok with that?

Elaine: well, he thinks that things will be more. Idk. Ughhh.

Me: Huh. Weird.

Elaine: Yeah, weird. So damn hungry now. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Me: You never ate?

Elaine: No.