On giving career
advice to a student
Me: After class
today, a student came up to talk to me. He's a really smart guy and I love
talking to him because he's bright and curious and wants to learn; I never feel
my time was wasted talking to him. He was talking to me about possible majors
and it looks like he wants to go into linguistics, poor thing (How will he ever
find a job?). Anyway, after talking about career stuff, I felt like a real
professor.
Kelli: Look at you, shaping tomorrow’s unemployed readers!
Go YOU!
On observing people
around me
Me: I am very tired. I just got back
from the gym and my feet feel like they were run over or something. 5 hours of
standing while teaching with only a half-hour break, followed by the gym, is
not a good plan. I'll have to rethink my gym schedule.
However, I did notice a man at the gym today,
despite my fatigue and aching feet (must get better shoes!). He was one machine
over from me and I noticed him because he had an e-reader. I couldn't see what
he was reading, but I was still impressed. It's nice to not be the only nerd at
the gym!
Kelli: I am fond of most men who
read. The material itself might cause me alarm, but a man reading is sexy.
Me: That's one thing I said to
Elaine when we were in Chicago. We were sitting on the train and I said, “I
have to move here. Look at all the boys with books! And they're real books, like
books I might actually read!”
Me: Oh wow. Check this.
Kelli: I am asking Santa for that.
Me: I thought you might. It's so stylish and sophisticated.
Elaine: wtf? So you put wine in your boobs like an inflatable boob?
Me: …that deflates as you get
drunk, because that's what sophisticated, classy people do. How are you so out
of the loop? Don't you have this?
On salsa packets from Taco Bell
Me: I just got my second marriage proposal—from a hot sauce packet.
Kelli: I think that is a sustainable & useful relationship.
Me: It was—until I got hungry. Whoops.
Kelli: Look who is using packets! Poor packet.
Me: Eh, I don't think he was sincere anyway. How many packets did
he flash that message before meeting me?
Kelli: He was looking for more than his kind!
Me: He was a bit hot-tempered for my taste. First proposal came
from a 4-year-old. He was nice enough, but hot-tempered as well.
Kelli: You have a type.
Me: Apparently—hot-tempered and messy.
Kelli: I'd be worried about hurting the packet's feelings.
Me: Wow. Really? Are we really still on this?
Kelli: Packet has squishy feelings of tastiness.
Me: I know you'll say I'm being too particular, but I don't think
packet was a good fit. I didn't especially want packet; he was just
kind of in the bag with my tacos.
Kelli: So you didn't even want him & you used him!
Me: I had more packets than I needed. In truth, I regretted it
afterward because he made my taco soggy.
Kelli: :(
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