Thursday, May 3, 2012

In which I Flirt with Online Dating


Although I was highly skeptical, last August, at the urging of a good friend, I started an account on the online dating site OKcupid.com. I chose this specific site because I was told you could filter by what you want—long-term or short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex, etc. What I really wanted was to find some nice, interesting people to meet up for lunch or to go to the movies with—in short, to make some new friends. I was careful with completing my profile, namely because I felt so self-conscious. Online dating? Really? Is this what grad school has done to my social life?
To my surprise, the next day I woke up to find that fifteen people had already messaged me, and as I read through my messages, my perception of online dating began to change. I was actually learning something about myself—namely, that I’m a hit with lesbians and men in their forties. (Not that there’s anything wrong with lesbians and middle-aged men, but they aren’t quite the demographic I was aiming for.)
My first week on the site, I began talking to one guy who seemed nice. He's working on a master's in computer programming and has a job in his field. He punctuated properly 95% of the time (a big plus for me, true English major that I am). As we chatted online, I wondered if maybe this online dating thing might not be so bad.

That was before I realized he was Lady Gaga in disguise. One minute we were carrying on a normal IM conversation. Then suddenly he started asking me about my teeth—had I ever had any cavities? How many? In which tooth? That was weird, but I let it slide. People have odd interests, right? And besides, he was the first person who messaged me in true English rather than Ebonics; I couldn’t let a little thing like a cavity-obsession ruin our new friendship. But the harder I tried to shift the conversation, the more persistent he became. Finally, he asked me to send him pictures of my teeth. When I said no, he asked me to send him pictures of my unsuspecting roommate’s teeth.
“I think that would be awkward,” I replied.

“No, no. It’s all in how you ask,” he insisted. “You’re good with words.”
“No, that would definitely be awkward. I’m pretty sure she’d think it was weird if I said, ‘Hey, let me snap a pic of your pearly whites to send to this guy I met online.’”
“Please? Just one picture?”

At this point, I closed out the chat window and decided to stop talking to him.
A few days later I was messaged by another man, only at first I wasn't sure he was a man; in his profile picture he was wearing a black leotard with a hot pink tutu-like skirt, and had long hair and breasts. Great, I thought. You just can’t shake some of these lesbians, can you? But as I read his profile, it became apparent that he is in fact a man; other revealing pictures made that decidedly clear. The first thing he mentions on his profile is that he used to think he was bisexual, but after trying with a few different men, he decided he needed to stick to women. Not trying to be judgmental here, but I just can’t hang with that. I mean, how humiliating would it be if I was seen in the mall with a guy who styles his hair better than I do?

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